Making Light (R)

Gainesville

Monday down. Four days to go. I got my hair cut in the morning-- even shorter than last time, just above my shoulders. I really like it this length, and it is so much easier to wash. Looks more like hair, less like feathers.

My meeting with the financial guy went well. He praised my fiscal responsibility, and opined that I must be a very conservative person. (I inwardly smirked, but he's welcome to think that.) Got my sick leave payout and the DROP funds sheltered in that 403-whatever-it-is, and we worked out a sensible retiree plan. So that's out of the way. Tomorrow my mission is to go the Credit Union and change my name on that account (it's still under Shaw) and see what needs to be done there, since I'll no longer be adding to that savings account via payroll deduction. I'll not starve, whatever happens: should always be able to afford a nice little bed-sit and all the plain, simple librarian's victuals I need.

Looks like I'll get my wish of putting off the Retirement gathering til later after all-- Winston, the organizer in Systems, called to tell me that he and Michele (my putative boss) had not been able to get their act together for having it this week. I suspect part of it is they rejected my idea of a low-key brunch thing-- but I will be much better able to handle something more elaborate if it is later, and I can come back for it. Winston also wanted to schedule a lunch with Systems, which is what I wanted the most. I've been in that deparment for nearly 20 years, and most of the friends I have left are there, even though I have not had an office on their premesis for a long time. He has set it all up for Friday noon, at a Vietnamese place that's new to me. Looking forward to that.

Ah good. Sandy just called with a report. Sounds like Mom is recovering on schedule and should be good to fly home a week from today. Wish I'd remembered to ask which leg it was-- tonight I'm having trouble walking around due to pain in upper left hip. I suspect it was a result of two long walking ventures today in un-sensible shoes on a hot day, but who knows? Could be sympathetic pain for the Momster...

We didn't watch Monday Night Football for once-- neither of us were up for wallowing in the media circus soap opera they were sure to make of an Actual Game in Actual N.O. It's FOOTBALL I want, dammit. Enough's enough.

I leave you tonight with a wonderful recipe. Alas, the man who wrote it (John M. Ford) as a comment to a blog entry (!) died suddenly yesterday. I knew him only through occasional quotes on Neil's blog, but the outpouring of emotion and praise today at his passing has me ready to seek out his science fiction writing-- a cult favorite, by all accounts. Anyway, for your gastronomic and reading pleasure, I present:

Hot Gingered Pygmy Mammoth & Jumbo Shrimp Salad

Feeds your whole tribe.

1 pygmy mammoth, boned and cubed (about ½ ton)
½ ton jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined (many many ordinary shrimps, or one Ebirah claw)
10 buckets sesame seeds
60 pounds bean thread noodles if you are an Eastern tribe, whatever your tribe uses for noodles otherwise. If you have not yet invented the noodle, this might be a good time to do so.
1 bucket vegetable oil
1 bucket sesame oil
Salt
10 buckets minced fresh ginger
6 buckets minced garlic
15 buckets dry Sherry
15 buckets rice wine vinegar
60 pounds sugar
60 buckets diced fresh mangoes
15 buckets chopped green onions
Big Snorgul’s helmet full of red pepper flakes
10 buckets chopped fresh cilantro, plus 5 Big Snorgul’s helmets fresh cilantro, garnish
1000 large heads lettuce, cored and leaves separated (a raid on the People Who Grow Stuff may be necessary)
30 buckets thinly sliced, peeled, seeded, drained cucumbers, or just chop up the damn cucumbers and say "Fie to thee!" a lot
All the chives you got

Preheat a giant turtle shell over a fumarole. A big giant turtle. Put some oil in there. Make sure no other giant turtles are around to see you do this.

On a flat rock, stirring with your Stick of the Dining God, dry cook the sesame seeds over medium heat until they are brown and smell good. Remove from the heat. Add the noodles to the turtle shell and fry fast until puffy and the color of sunrise. Remove from the oil and drain on non-itchy leaves. Throw salt. Set aside.

Sear the mammoth meat on the flat rock. Salt but don’t overdo it, you remember what happened to the Chest-Clutching Tribe of the Plains. Drain.

Get a less giant turtle shell. Okay, think of this as a celebration dish for a good turtle hunt and shrimp catch. Make the vegetable oil and most of the sesame oil dance. Add the shrimp, mammoth, ginger, and garlic, and cook fast, stirring, until the shrimp are just pink and firm. Doom of Ten Thousand Wretched Canapés awaits those who overcook shrimp. Remove from the shell with pole weapons. Add the sherry and vinegar, and sing the Song of Deglazing over medium heat. Add the sugar and stir until it is one with the sauce. Cook until half the fluid is gone. Feed anybody who thinks this is waste to the giant turtles. Add the rest of the sesame oil, mangoes, green onions, and pepper flakes, and stir to warm through and wilt. No, this wilt is good. Tell the people it is the wilt of the Wilt God. You need all the mojo you can get. Remove from the heat and add the shrimp and ginger, and the cilantro. Stir to warm through and do the Highly Dramatic Ritual of Adjusting the Seasoning to Taste.

Now your tribal status is on the thin edge of the cleaver. Have everybody bring what they eat off of. You know your tribe. Put lettuce on whatever they hold out and spread the hot stuff on it. Those who have no eating platters should be used to the drill by now. Arrange cucumber slices on top in whatever symbolic pattern seems propitious to you and sprinkle with the toasted sesame seeds. If you have a really tough tribe, yell “Bam!” until they get a groove going. Add fried noodles, cilantro sprigs, and chives, and watch for any signs of people keeling over that can’t be blamed on strong drink.

John M. Ford
October 29, 2005
Making Light